Dress for Success: Perception and Self-Confidence

Debbie
May 11
5 min read

Many years back, when I was a kid, my dad bought me this simple black oversized tee with “You Are What You Wear”, written on it. At the time, I just didn’t know what it meant but it sounded so interesting that fast forward 25 years and I still remember it, the only difference being, that now I know exactly what it means.

The impact of clothing on not just your external persona but also your mental well being goes well beyond words can ever express. I know, you might be thinking…but that is so shallow, why should what I wear matter more than what I am inside? The answer is, it does not matter more than what you are inside but it is equally important.

Dressing well is just not something you do when you go out for an invitation or a date night or some special occasion. It is something that you have to do for yourself all the time because YOU ARE THE BIGGEST OCCASION THAT SHOULD BE CELEBRATED EVERYDAY.

Now, by that I do not mean that you dorn a ball gown while binging on your favorite show on Netflix, or wear a LBD while brushing your teeth…though you absolutely can! But what I mean is, taking care of yourself. Wear a nice matching pajama set when you decide to call it a night, or wear a comfy loungewear while going about your day at home. You don't need an expensive satin ensemble, just wear something good, that's it.

Remember athleisures? The entire reason they came into the market and conquered it during Covid was people wanted to feel comfortable and yet stylish during the work from home era!

If you are reading this with a bundled up messy uncombed hair in a wrinkled tee, I urge you to try this.

Simply get up, comb your hair and tie it up neatly, then put on a clean, ironed garment…additionally what I like to do is spritz some fragrance because that cheers me up and I like to be prepared just in case Brad Pitt decides to visit me in my dreams. A girl can hope!

Try it!

It will switch your mind immediately. That is why, besides positive self talk, I have made a night time ritual for myself. I do an entire skincare, brushing, combing, nice PJ and go to bed with clean straightened sheets (fitted sheets are God sent!), smelling of perfume! It is like wrapping the day up with a fine ribbon and though you might disagree but I believe that it sets the tone for the morning as well. Think hotel rooms!

Starting the day right is absolutely important but so is ending the day.

A little note on skincare: You do not need an exhaustive 12 steps Korean skin care routine. A simple cleansing, toning, moisturizing will suffice. If you can maintain the k-beauty regime then please do it. But what is more important here is consistency. Making things simple, especially when you are starting out, ensures that you stick to it in the long run. It does take a while to form a habit, but till then you have to keep at it.

P.S.: A beautiful, supple and happy skin feels like an absolute bliss!

YOUR ATTIRE AND PUBLIC PERCEPTION

You must have heard the phrase, “dress for the job” at a professional setting. But it goes way beyond that.

You dress for the part you play. But I believe, you just do not dress for the part you play but you also dress for the part YOU WANT TO PLAY.

Did I confuse you?

Let me clarify with a situational example:

Imagine a professional setting, where you are about to meet the CEO of a big company along with other senior executives. Now, you have never met him. While you were waiting in the conference room, the executives along with the CEO walks in. Everybody was in casual attire except for one who was in a fine blazer, shiny shoes and was wearing a very suave confident smile with walked in with a confident strut.

You will automatically assume that he was the CEO, unlike the guy who walked in wearing casual shorts, tee and sneakers.

Hence, perception matters.

Now, there are many CEOs, who are in their casuals most of the time, but they have made their mark known in the world through their success. But regardless, and you will not see them put on the first things that drops out of their closet when they dress up in the morning.

The true fact of life is, people are judgy and you want to be taken seriously. Dress up and show up with your most confident self, then take command of how people especially at your work perceive you.

This quote by Marc Jacob sums it up perfectly, “To me, clothing is a form of self-expression – there are hints about who you are in what you wear.”

Will you ever take a grown up man walking around in a pink tutu seriously? I know that it is an extreme example but you get the point.

YOUR ATTIRE AND YOUR PERSONAL CONFIDENCE

Not just in professional setting, but even in your personal life or in that social circle you hang around, they are judgy. As much as it is wrong to judge anybody, people do it all the time, especially based on what you are wearing.

I am about to contradict myself here…

People will judge you no matter what, so the goal here is not to dress up so that they dont judge you, because let’s accept…it is never going to happen and you dont need to make it happen either.

You need to dress up well for yourself and ONLY YOURSELF because how you dress up has a direct impact on your internal mental state and self-esteem.

What YOU think about YOURSELF is the only thing that matters!

There has been many times, I have looked at myself in the mirror and said, “You Got This!”. Then, I put on a nice dress, decked myself up, put on my some nice shoes and went out for a drive, listening to “cheerful” songs. It has immediately flipped the switch to the finding the best version in me.

Sometimes, our CONFIDENT SELF gets a little nubbed with external circumstances and our own way of reacting to these circumstances. All we have to do, is dust it off and remove the pile on top and pick that CONFIDENCE up again.

It is pretty much like finding that small but very precious thing from under a pile of clothes that you took out of the dryer and dumped over it.